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Friday, April 29, 2011

Trump Jumps the Shark - The End of F-Bomb Diplomacy

Well, that was quick! Donald Trump, last night in Las Vegas, dropped a series of f-bombs during a speech he was giving to potential supporters and has surely eliminated himself for serious consideration for 2012.

If you're not politically astute or very smart you might think that Trump is a "plain-speaking intellectual". Let's be clear; Donald Trump is a moron. As I've said before, if you have money and no conscience it's easy to get to Trump's level of wealth. Trump has grown his empire on greed and inertia. No trick there.

The problem with Trump is that he believes his own hype. He thinks he's some sort of genius businessman whose opinions should count more than the next guy. Unfortunately, his opinions are ridiculous.

He has made the claim that, since we went in and "liberated" Iraq, we should have control of their oil. I guess like the America of our forefathers? Like how we went in and liberated Paris from the Nazis and now our French colony is a bastion of free market brilliance? Or like the 52nd and 53rd states, Belgium and The Netherlands? What the hell is Trump talking about? The United States back in the 1800s that took land from Mexico and Spain? Is that what America is supposed to be about? Creating a greater American empire?

Holy crap! Really? It's like Trump missed the last hundred years of American history. Supposedly this country is about doing the right thing as misguided as those efforts have frequently been. We're not about the practice of going out and conquering sovereign nations. That's why we've supposedly fought wars, to stop those who would do that.

Of course that type of talk appeals to the "bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" crowd. And they'll be voting Republican regardless of who the candidate is. But that small crew of jugheads is a pretty small fraction of our populace.

In his Thursday night speech, Trump went on to get into a sort of mafia mode. He suggested that the U.S. military, under his control, would only help out nations if they paid for our help. You know, protection money. Like telling the grocer that if he pays you $500 a month it's less likely that his building might get burned down.

Trump really has an eighteen year-old redneck's view of global politics. It's like discussing international affairs in a high school locker room. It's like he doesn't understand that North Korea's military build-up has been in response to our backing South Korea.

Our troops that have been in Germany since the end of WWII were there because of our issues with the Soviet Union, not because Germany needed protection. Our military went in to Afghanistan because of a threat to the U.S., not because the Afghans wanted or needed our help.

Don't get me wrong. I understand all the nuances related to the scenarios I've mentioned. I don't think Trump knows what nuance is. He's just been out there spitting out conservative buzz words and catch phrases until last night though.

I don't know if all the f-bombs were written into his speech or if Trump was ad-libbing but last night finally did it. If Trump runs for president, this is the speech that will be replayed ad nauseum in the lead up. Americans will seriously have to ask themselves if they want a president who will actually go to the Chinese and say "Hey, look you fuckers, you're gonna do things my way, see?" Like some kind of foul-mouthed, Jimmy Cagney type tough guy.

Yeah, that's great if you're trying to get a guy to not date your sister.

The whole thing makes me feel a little confused. I'd love to have a President Trump in the hopes that some right-wingers would finally have to examine their own beliefs. Should we really nuke the towel heads? Should we literally kill all the faggots? Should we really ship them all back to Africa? That sort of thing.

But, I've begun to realize that reality doesn't really play a big part in the thinking of these people. The high school locker room mentality will be with them forever, like they're frozen in time and mindset.

So, as fun as it would be to make fun of a President Trump for four or eight years, I don't think I wish the repercussions on my country. I think it would be devastating.

Fortunately Trump took care of that himself last night. Most Americans are decent people. They'll shy away from Trump's brand of f-bomb diplomacy much less his multiple trophy wives and shady business deals.

Lastly, we've only had one president in recent history who has totally bucked the system in Washington and that was Jimmy Carter. He went against his own party and the entire political establishment and was run out of town on a rail. The same thing would happen to Trump if he actually were to try the things he says he would. Might be a different story if we lived in a dictatorship but the president is beholden to many and doesn't control this country by himself. So, I guess the good news is that, should Trump win, none of his lunacy would ever go into effect.

Just a little history lesson but if you've heard the term "jump the shark" and don't know what that means, it refers to the two-part episode of the TV show Happy Days in which leather jacket clad Fonzie water ski jumps a shark. That episode was singled out as the one that led to the demise of the show. So now, the term refers to an instance where a person or TV series makes the fatal mistake, maybe reaches just too far, and it's all downhill after that. Or uphill as Zach Galifianakis' character says in the movie Due Date since it's harder going uphill.

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