Recently, GoDaddy.com founder, Bob Parsons, caused a stir with a video he posted on his own blog of him on a visit to Zimbabwe. The video is of him with an elephant he has killed and then feeding villagers, wearing GoDaddy caps, with the carcass.
Parsons has explained the killing as a humanitarian effort. The elephant was trashing the crops of the villagers and by killing the elephant and using it as food he has saved several of these villagers from starvation.
So, let's be clear; Bob Parsons is one of those self-made men you occasionally run across in our wonderful, capitalist system. He came up having nothing, according to him, and, simply through the will to be successful, has made millions. He's driven by intense greed and the need to constantly prove himself. I guess he's what Ayn Rand would call a prime mover.
In the case of Bob Parsons, however, he's made his money off of reinventing what's already out there. First, making and selling home accounting software, then taking domain name registration and turning it into the sex and testosterone driven thing that is GoDaddy.
I guess that if I had the seed money, and the greed, and lack of scruples I could take something like a library, advertise it with sex, make the librarians look like Hooters girls and make a fortune.
Anyway, regardless of how Bob Parsons got to where he is, the primary thing is that guys like him strive constantly to prove themselves to themselves. They have to continually press the point home that they are something extra.
Killing elephants is right up the alley of guys like this, like Ted Nugent stuff. "I'm a self-made man, and yeah, I'm killing a beautiful and smart creature, get over it!" That sort of thing. "Nobody tells me how to live; I'm a self-made man!" It's what I like to call douchebaggery.
Bob Parsons has gone to lengths to justify killing elephants after backlash from groups like PETA who nobody pays any attention to anymore. PETA has become so extreme that it's easy for anybody to discount them. They just give Bob Parsons the opportunity to look good to other conservative douchebags out there. Well, I feel pretty safe in assuming that Bob Parsons is a conservative. Smells like one.
At any rate, if it were about the villagers, Bob Parsons could easily take the money he spends on weapons, guides, planes, etc. on a trip to Zimbabwe, and give them enough protein to last a year rather than the week's worth of meat they get from an elephant. He could erect barriers to keep the elephants away from the crops, arm the villagers with elephant guns, all that.
Bob Parsons just wants to kill an elephant because killing a beautiful and powerful creature makes him feel powerful.
What kind of sick fuck just wants to kill an elephant? What kind of sick fuck would then try to justify it as a humanitarian effort? Well, the same kind of sick fuck who would sell internet domain name registration by using implied lesbian sex in Super Bowl ads. The kind of sick fuck who must constantly seek to prove himself to himself. My guess is that penis enlargement surgery wasn't an option for Bob Parsons and he has to seek other ways to prove his manliness.
I agree with PETA that we should boycott GoDaddy but, as always, that just feeds the need. Any PETA protest just cements the deal for all the other douchebags out there who equate domain name registration with hot lesbian sex. That category would be poorly endowed, conservative, American males, aka, Tea Party folks.
Runner up: Charlie Sheen. No need to go into that.
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